Project Sanctuary: Perfect Soldier and Shinigami
by YamiNoTenshi18
Summary: Three years ago, Heero Yuy left Duo. But now, a few years later, he's back in his life; not only for his own reasons but for others as well. Duo is suffering, slowly fading from this world. Can Heero save Duo and say the words he's been meaning to say?
1. Fallen Angel

Chapter 1: Fallen Angel

Life is something people should cherish. You can only live it once then it's all over. Unless you believe in that life after death bullshit, which is something humans foolishly invented to quench their fear of death. Heaven and Hell. Heaven, a disillusioned place that is said to be the holy land for all people that have not sinned. A place where fabled creatures such as angels exist. I once believed in all of this hogwash they feed you in the bible. But once you've experienced the death of a loved one you start to second guess the teachings. You view life in a new light. You think that perhaps the creator of this book or the priests of the church haven't felt the agonizing pain that sears through your heart. Hell is the only ending for all creatures that walk upon this earth. It is the only place these lunatics didn't try and sugar coat for you. Hell, a place where you spend all eternity repenting your sins for there is no human alive that hasn't been graced with the knowledge of guilt. Hell is _our_ sanctuary. My name is Duo Maxwell, ex-gundam pilot of Deathscythe Hell, and born on the L2 colony. These are my thoughts.

_- Shinigami_

Duo smiled faintly before closing his journal. Sometimes he wondered why he kept one, wasting his time on writing down silly thoughts. Though deep down he knew why he did it. It was the only thing keeping him sane now. Life had started to go downhill for him after the war. Not to say is his life was perfect then but at least he had friends to share his hardships with. Now loneliness is the only thing that greets his door. Once the war had ended he had lost contact with most of the other pilots.

Quatre and Trowa were the only ones he knew were doing well these days. Quatre is now the owner of his own billion dollar corporation. He had inherited the money from his late father, using it to fund a medical research facility. He said it was the final request from his dying sister, Iriya. Trowa is traveling with the circus troupe but uses all of his free time to visit Quatre. Those two were always an item during the war but now they didn't have to hide their growing relationship. The gundam pilots are known as heroes, no one is allowed to mess with them, not even the press.

Just a few days ago he hadn't received a video-mail from Quatre. This was odd considering he made sure to send one everyday, knowing that Duo enjoyed the communication. He had returned to the comfort of journal writing since Quatre didn't seem to have time for him anymore. It scared him how much he had come to realize that he needed the surroundings of his friends. He didn't need such company when he had lived on the streets as a child. He had grown too attached and he hated to admit it.

With a frown and a brief sigh, he stood up from his chair, making his way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror in his porcelain carved bathroom, he studied his own reflection. His eyes were a dull purple, glaring back at him through the glass. Stringy, chestnut brown hair that once held a vibrant, glistening look to it now hung limply in a sloppy braid. His features were gaunt showing that he had lost quite a bit of weight and there were dark circles around his eyes, emphasizing his lack of sleep.

He hadn't slept for weeks, the same nightmare filling his mind every single time he closed his eyelids. It was the nightmare from his childhood. The one where he could see the death; quite vividly, of his guardians, Sister Helen and Father Maxwell, being killed right in front of his eyes.

An angry look burned in his eyes as he reached for the sharp object sitting on the counter next to the sink. Now he would begin his daily ritual. Laying the cold, glinting item on the pale skin of his wrist; just below the blue vein that was visible, he slid the knife down hard. It pierced through his skin, blood flowing freely as he sliced his skin from the far left to far right. Gripping the butcher knife tightly in his hand, he leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down to sit on the floor. With the depth of his incision and the amount of blood oozing from the wound he could tell he had cut a little bit too deep this time.

His breathing was becoming labored as well as his vision blurred around the edges. He didn't know what had come over him. Sliding the knife that deep into his skin was something he hadn't intended on doing. Or perhaps unconsciously he was ready to die and leave this world without a second glance. There was nothing left for him here except the one person that could never love him. The death grip he had on the knife began to slacken as it slipped from his lax fingers, landing in the pool of blood that was quickly gathering around him. The buzzing that held his ears captive clouded his mind and made the things around him hard to understand.

Suddenly he felt someone shaking him. Hard jolts that he barely felt through his numb body caused him to wonder what or who could be bothering him. Focusing blank indigo irises upon the faint outline of someone's face, he tried to recognize who it was but his life was still flowing from his wrist, making it hard for him to process anything quickly. A stern yet wavering voice spoke to him through the haze.

"Duo……Duo! Speak to me!" "Duo! Don't you dare do this to me!"

That voice. Duo had heard it before but he couldn't get his mind to wrap around it. He was fading. Just before he slipped into the darkness; a picture of the last person he would ever see at his death bed came into focus, the one person he had fallen in love with.

"Heero……?"

His eyes soon closed as the black void claimed him. The sound of a deafening scream echoing in his ears before he heard no more.

"DUO!"


	2. Bittersweet Reunion

Chapter 2: Bittersweet Reunion

This is the first story I have submitted to so I'm a bit new at this. This chapter will focus on Heero's thoughts mostly though italics will refer to Duo's feelings. I hope I don't make it too confusing and sorry for making such a short first chapter, but I thought it would be good if I ended it there. I promise this chapter will be longer and will explain more if the first chapter did not. Later chapters might get even darker than it already started out as and I hope this chapter is better than the first. I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the terms I refer to from it, so don't sue me. Now enjoy the story!

Heero fumbled with the locked door. Duo had taught him a few times near the end of the war how to break a lock but it was only a brief demonstration and he hadn't had a lot of time to practice. Duo. He had never thought he would end up missing that braided baka. During the war he wouldn't let himself admit it, but he had grown to care for the American. Ever since he had first met him, there was something that attracted him to that boy.

It was when Relena had followed him, trying to talk to him about something unimportant that caused Heero to get angry. Without a second thought, Heero had pulled out his gun, raising it to aim right where her heart was located. It was then that Duo had decided to make his appearance. He was wearing his all black priest outfit, consisting of a white collar with the short sleeve black shirt over it. He also had a black ball cap and it was only as Heero looked him over that he saw his long braid flowing down his back. The long braid that blew with the wind captivated his attention before he wondered about whether he was a boy or a girl. The sound of his voice reassured him on these thoughts before he once again returned his attention on killing this annoying girl. She was a bother to the mission and he felt the need to get rid of her. But on their first meeting, Duo had shot him then nearly blew up his gundam.

He shifted his thoughts back to the present. There had to of been something wrong if Duo wasn't answering his door. Preventers Headquarters had told him that Duo would be home and in a case such as this, he knew to believe them. So why wasn't Duo answering his door? He feared the worse as he continued to try and break the lock.

With a frustrated growl, Heero raised his foot and kicked open the door. His training as a pilot took over as he pulled out his gun, holding it out in front of him. His brown boots padded along the wooden floor of the apartment heading from the living room into the bedroom. The bedroom was messy; clothes littered the floor in every direction. That didn't strike as being something odd to Heero for Duo had been just as unorganized during the war.

It was then that out of the corner of his eye, Heero noticed the light coming from the bathroom. Stepping cautiously towards the door; he nudged it open with his arm, noticing that sitting on the floor was Duo, a pool of blood forming around him. Dropping the gun upon the tiles of the bathroom, he kneeled down, instantly looking for where the blood was coming from. It was Duo's wrist. Heero cursed, grabbing a towel that hung over the toilet and wrapping it tightly around his wrist. There was so much blood, which caused Heero to worry even more. He gripped his shoulders a bit too tightly, shaking him to see if he was still conscious.

"Duo…Duo! Speak to me!" "Duo! Don't you dare do this to me!"

Heero saw him trying to focus his eyes upon him, taking note of the frighteningly blank stare he turned in his direction. He watched his lips move, squinting his ears to barely hear the whisper that came from him.

"Heero……?"

His body suddenly went limp in his arms, his eyelids falling closed. Heero started to panic, a scream rupturing through his throat at the sight of Duo's unconscious form.

"DUO!"

Through the tears in his eyes, Heero noticed that his chest was still rising and falling. His eyes widened as he fiercely wiped away his tears, reaching two fingers towards his neck to check for his heart beat. It was slowed but it was still there.

A smirk appeared upon his lips before he allowed his perfect soldier side to take over once more, picking Duo's body up from the floor as he dashed out the door. He hurried down the stairs, clutching Duo tightly to him as he finally made it to his car. Duo don't you dare die on me! Sliding quickly into the driver's seat and laying Duo across the front seat; he rested his head upon his lap. Giving his form one last glance, he sped out of the parking lot and towards the nearest hospital.

He rushed into the hospital, passing the registry as he flagged down a nurse.

"Excuse me sir, but you have to sign some papers before we can take any patients." The nurse said sweetly.

"I can't sign any papers right now, he's bleeding to death. You have to take him and I'll sign the papers after."

"I'm sorry sir, but……"

"I'm sorry my ass, just take him now!" Heero shouted, setting him down on a gurney. Heero brushed a strand of chestnut hair from his face, a smile gracing his lips before he turned pleading eyes to the nurse.

"Please."

The nurse sighed, relenting under his gaze before taking him into the emergency room.

Heero collapsed into one of the chairs in the waiting room. Glancing down at the clipboard in his hand, he began filling out the paper work he needed to get Duo the help he required. He felt himself starting to fall asleep when a hand holding a cup of coffee was thrust in front of him. He looked up tiredly, noticing who the person was.

"Wufei? How did you know I was here?"

"You forgot we work for Preventers? We always know where everyone is."

"So how's Duo doing?"

Heero frowned, taking the cup of coffee and holding it tightly in his hands, shaking his head.

"I don't know and I hate being left in the dark."

"I'm sure he'll pull through Heero. By the way, what is he in for?"

"He attempted suicide. What could possibly drive him to something such as this?"

Wufei sat down beside Heero, resting a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest Heero? I'll stay here and tell you if there's any news."

"I'm not leaving Wufei and there's no way you can make me."

Heero was determined to stay with Duo no matter what. He had left him years ago after the war and he wasn't about to let him slip from his fingers again. The past four years of his life had been hell once he had realized what he was missing in his life. He needed Duo. Duo was his heart and soul and without him, there was no reason worth living. Heero had joined Preventers in order to gain more resources to find Duo. Duo had used every trick in the book to hide his location and Heero needed more than just his laptop to locate him.

Heero had changed over the years. He was more open with his feelings though only with the other pilots. At times the perfect soldier gained control but that side of him was mostly kept dormant since the war was over. Though it seemed he couldn't quite let go of the fighting. He grew up training in the war and it was all that he knew. But with the help of Wufei and the others he knew he could survive in this new era and perhaps he could tell Duo what he had been feeling for quite some time now.

Hours went by and they still hadn't received word about Duo's condition. The suspense was killing Heero and he was about ready to jump on anyone nearest to him and demand some answers. It was then that a doctor; that looked to be in his mid-20s with short spiky black hair and blue eyes, gracing them with his presence.

"Are you Mr. Yuy?"

Heero looked sharply in his direction wondering if he had news on how Duo was doing. Wufei had left the room having gone to get in contact with Quatre and Trowa, knowing they would like to know about what happened to Duo. When he didn't say anything for a few minutes as he looked through his papers Heero nearly snapped, but he held his tongue trying to stay calm.

"Yes, what is it? Is Duo alright?"

"Mr. Maxwell is in critical condition though he does have a chance of surviving if he can make it through the night. If you hadn't of brought him in when you did he would have died."

Heero let out a breath of air, having not realized that he had been holding it in all this time. Duo would make it. He knew he would. He could not leave him alone in this world without him getting the chance to tell him the words he was dying to say. But what if Duo didn't lolike him back? Banishing the thought from his mind, Heero returned his attention to the doctor.

"May I see him?"

"Yes and only you are allowed. Perhaps you being there for him will help him pull through this tragedy that has befallen his soul."

With a nod, Heero stood up, heading a few feet before stopping. As if reading his mind the doctor smiled replying, "He is in critical care, just down the hall."

Dashing down the hall with fast steps, he reached critical care in two minutes. Pushing open the silver double doors, Heero stepped into the fairly dark room. He took a sharp intake of breath upon seeing the condition his Duo was in. He lay on the bed, a small body that could barely be seen from where he stood. His long chestnut hair had come out of his braid, flowing around him in a shower of waves and crusted blood. Heero stepped over to his bed side, taking a seat next to him. He took in the paleness of his skin, and how thin he looked with all those wires and oxygen mask attached to his body. Heero ran his fingers through his hair, realizing just how tired his was.

"Duo, why did you do this to yourself? What could have driven you to a thought such as this?"

Heero thought he sounded silly talking out loud like this, but he figured maybe talking could fill in the emptiness that was slowly crushing his heart. He hated to see Duo in this state and hoped that ifno when Duo woke up, he would tell him why he did this.

"It's been a long time koi. Four years since I had last seen you."

"You made it quite a problem to find you. It seems your hacking skills have improved greatly." Heero smiled faintly before the look disappeared from his face when Duo didn't reply back.

_Cold. So cold._

"It took me two whole years to find you and I needed the help of Preventer's equipment. It seems you really gave me a run for my money back then. Changing your identity, your entire life and you even moved back to L2. I never thought you would have done that."

_Darkness everywhere. Can no one save me?_

"I don't know much about you Duo, but I do know that you were the glue that kept our team together. Without you I would have been known to everyone as nothing other than the perfect soldier. Cold, calculating, and full of hatred, that's all I was."

_Alone. I've been alone all of my life. Death. It's all I know. I am Shinigami._

"Every one of us gained something from your presence. Trowa learned how to communicate more with others. Well Quatre didn't have much to learn but he was able to face his problems with a strong resolve. Wufei was finally able to get over the death of his wife and move on, realizing the destruction of his colony was not his fault. And I learned the greatest thing from you. I learned how to live."

_I'm fading away from this world. Leaving all the pain, blood, and fear behind. I am no one. Perhaps it is my time._

Heero frowned, reaching a hand up to Duo's face, holding it as he ran his thumb along his cheek. The sound of the respiratory system beeping could be heard in the background, but that gave Heero little reassurance that Duo would make it.

"Duo you can't leave me alone here. I've slowly started to realize that life without you seems so dull. I won't allow you to leave this world before me. So please pull through this. There's something I have to tell you once you wake up, so open your eyes for me."

_Light. Such warmth in this desolate place. A voice. Is someone calling to me?_

"Come back to me Duo, please."

Heero watched Duo silently in the darkness of the room, stifling a yawn as the adrenaline drained from his body. He was tired. As much as he wanted to stay up and watch over he needed to rest. At least he would be here for him once he woke up. Heero rested his head on the bed next to Duo, his eyes falling closed as he slipped into a deep slumber.

Soft indigo irises slowly opened as he realized he was still alive. A sad smile formed on his lips as he glanced about the room. Where was he? Duo took in his surroundings, shying away from the bright light that shone through the window. He noticed he was in the hospital. He hated this place with a passion, briefly wondering how he had gotten here. It was then that he felt the warmth by his thigh. Glancing down, his eyes widened as recognition flowed over him. What was Heero doing here? Had he been the voice he heard in that nightmarish place? No. Heero hated him, which was why he had left three years ago. Duo smiled, before dropping the look from his face as Heero sat up.

"Ohayo." Heero whispered, a slight smile gracing his face.

Duo turned away, staring out the window. Upon seeing Heero beside him was a bit overwhelming yet he still enjoyed his presence. Why was Heero here? After all these years how could he torture Duo with his presence?

"Duo, I……"

Heero was cut short as one of the nurses bustled into the room, taking note of their patient. She smiled brightly, happy to see that he was still among the living.

"I'm sorry Mr. Yuy, but you can't be in the room any longer. We will be out in a little bit to inform you on his condition."

The nurse put her hands on her hips as she saw that Heero wasn't moving from his now standing up position. She proceeded to push him out of the room, hesitating for a brief second as he stiffened at the feel of her touch. Heero sighed, allowing himself to be ushered out of the room, deciding he would get some answers out of Duo later. He took one final glance at Duo before he was out of sight. Heero leaned against the wall by the double doors, running his fingers through his unruly brown locks as he looked up at the television.

Duo watched as Heero left the room, a distant look in his eyes as many of the questions that were plaguing his mind came to surface. So Heero had saved him. But why? Just so he could be tortured by how close he was yet so far? They would never have what Duo wanted. Heero could never love a street rat such as him. A bitter chuckle escaped his lips as he shifted attention once more towards the window.

"Why have you come back, Heero Yuy?"


End file.
